I’ve been on this winding journey where I go in and out of knowing what I want to do “when I grow up.” In some moments, I excitedly jot down notes or frantically text Josh and my girlfriend Terri saying “I’ve got it! I know what I’m supposed to be doing with my life!” Sometimes that thrill lasts only a couple hours. Then I second guess myself and think “Now, why on earth did I ever feel that was the right direction for me to move?” As a result, I am finding myself at a standstill. And with this standstill, I have moments of intense fear, anxiety and depression. I fear I will always feel stuck. I fear no matter what choice I make, it is going to flop. I fear I may put a lot of effort into a certain move, only to realize it wasn’t a good fit. It is in the moments I feel desperate that I get really scared. I don’t know whether to move or to stay and if I’m supposed to move, I have no idea in what direction.
At the recommendation from my girlfriend Terri, I picked up the book The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Life Purpose by Janet Attwood and Chris Attwood. Reading this book was one of the first times I felt any sort of true clarity on what I am passionate about. I have done a lot of soul searching things – read many books, taken many personality tests and also hired a fantastic career coach that helped bring me closer to understanding what my passions are. I’m sure all of these things brought me to the point that when I picked up this particular book, I finally got it. It helped me wade through all the muck to narrow down and discover my top 5 passions.
One of the most freeing things to me in the book, was when Janet emphasized that I did not have to figure out my passions in the context of how they could be fulfilled. This meant I could define my passions based on my fantasy, dream life. If all things went my way, what would I be doing?
So, I now know all of my top 5 passions. And some of them actually surprised me! I won’t share them all here, because I still need to share them with Josh. He plans to take the passion test as well. One of things that Janet and Chris impress upon is that spouses should wait to share their passions with one another until after they have both taken the test, so as not to influence one another and so each can get to the true heart of himself and herself. That being said, I still would like to share one of my passions. Josh is fully aware of this one, so I don’t think it’s cheating. ha.
“When my life is ideal, I am creating an income by doing what I love – I am connecting with others authentically through my openness, vulnerability and humor.”
It wasn’t until last week that I could admit to myself that I wanted to tie “loving what I do to create an income” with my passion for “connecting with others”. Up until last week, I had those listed as two separate passions. I want to connect fully with others, and I do this anyway regardless of it bringing in money. But… for some reason, I felt it would taint my passion of “connecting with others” if I tied the words “money” or “income” to it. And to be honest, I’m still struggling with it a little bit. But I’m going to allow myself to sit in this feeling. I am quite confident that connecting with others through my openness and vulnerability is something I was created to do. In this book, Janet states,
“When you are clear, what you want will show up in your life, and only to the extent that you are clear.”
I allowed myself to get clear, and to admit that “Yes, I do indeed want to create income while connecting with others through my openness, vulnerability and humor.” I still don’t have all the answers, but I can tell I have found something of great value to me. And now, I’m going to sit with it for a bit. It’s okay to take rests on a journey, don’t cha know.
Question: Do you know what you are passionate about? If so, would you share one of your passions in the comments? I’d love to hear what “drives” you!
If you read this post and feel completely overwhelmed because you don’t know your passions, and you don’t even know how to begin to define them, or if you kinda-sorta-maybe think you know what they are, I’d love to help. I will be hosting another workshop for those who live local to the Lansing Area/Greater Grand Rapids Area. Please connect with me through my Contact page with the subject line “Please add me to the invite list!” and I will add you to the invitation for the next session. There is no obligation to say you are interested, it will simply alert me you would like to hear about the info once available.