Archives For My Story

A St. Patty’s Day Story

Alana —  March 17, 2014 — Leave a comment

I only loved one guy before I met my husband. He was my longest dating relationship prior to meeting Josh. And I’m proud to say the relationship lasted an entire six weeks.

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God Doodles

Alana —  March 13, 2014 — Leave a comment

Last summer I took a solo trip back to my hometown to hang out with my Mom and Dad. It was between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and I wanted to spend some one-on-one time with each parent to celebrate. This type of hang out time is rare for us and it may have happened only once since Josh and I have been married. My Dad is an Illustrator by trade and he really enjoys doodling.

Daddy/Daughter Date - Summer 2013

Daddy/Daughter Date – Summer 2013

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A Day of Doubt & Dreaming

Alana —  January 15, 2014 — 6 Comments

The first step seems the hardest.

The Dream Machine

The Dream Machine

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Holy Food!

Alana —  September 26, 2013 — 5 Comments

I hate taking time to prepare food but realized something special about it this week. Watch the video to find out more.

3 weeks.
No desserts.
No alcohol.
No pasta.
No fast food.
No bread. (unless 35 calories)

You can do it. :)

I Should…

Alana —  September 13, 2013 — 6 Comments

I should…

… take better care of my body
… work more hours
… have a better attitude at work
… iron Josh’s shirts
… be a better wife
… exercise more

I Should… Continue Reading…

I know I’ve been quiet for a few weeks [ahem, months]. I have a lot of reasons, but I’m not sure if any of them amount to anything life-changing. I definitely feel stuck right now. I have everything and nothing to share.

photo credit: Georges Fontaine

photo credit: Georges Fontaine

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I Found Something!

Alana —  July 16, 2013 — 4 Comments

I’ve been on this winding journey where I go in and out of knowing what I want to do “when I grow up.” In some moments, I excitedly jot down notes or frantically text Josh and my girlfriend Terri saying “I’ve got it! I know what I’m supposed to be doing with my life!” Sometimes that thrill lasts only a couple hours. Then I second guess myself and think “Now, why on earth did I ever feel that was the right direction for me to move?” As a result, I am finding myself at a standstill. And with this standstill, I have moments of intense fear, anxiety and depression. I fear I will always feel stuck. I fear no matter what choice I make, it is going to flop. I fear I may put a lot of effort into a certain move, only to realize it wasn’t a good fit. It is in the moments I feel desperate that I get really scared. I don’t know whether to move or to stay and if I’m supposed to move, I have no idea in what direction.

what-should-i-do-with-my-life Continue Reading…

Why I Don’t Have Time for You

Alana —  February 26, 2013 — 10 Comments

For years I’ve worn my busyness as a badge of honor, and at other times, a cross to bear. I was a self-appointed martyr – Ooooh, how I wish I could spend time with you, but woe to me, I have way too much work on my plate to take time out of my schedule for a short conversation with you.

As I sit here now, I consider the reasons I have kept myself so busy. I can name three.

photo credit:

photo credit:

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My Mind is Full

Alana —  February 7, 2013 — 2 Comments

photo credit: iStock Photo

photo credit: iStock Photo

“Alana, did you even hear what I just said to you??”

Crap! No. “Mmmm… you said something about what you are doing after work tonight…?” My tone turns upward as I end my statement with a question.

I don’t pay attention.
I often read the same sentence in a paragraph 4x times before I realize that I’ve read it 4x. Then I say to myself, “Okay, this time, you are going to focus”. It doesn’t happen. When I leave the house for work, I often times have to go back inside, run allll the way upstairs to check to make sure I’ve unplugged my flat iron. Once I get outside to the car, I’ll sometimes go back to the door 3x to make sure I’ve locked it.
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Why I Run From Conflict

Alana —  February 5, 2013 — 11 Comments
Fighting Fingers

Fighting Fingers

“Can I talk to you?”

Ugh. I could tell by his quiet demeanor at dinner that he had been stewing on something. Usually the “Can I talk to you?” question is the beginning to our hard, long, awkward conversations.

“Yeah… ”

“I’m really bothered by…”

Then it came. The flood of his frustration. This time, it wasn’t directed at me, but it still involved me because I had not stepped up and fought for myself. He was frustrated because of how I was being treated in another relationship. I deserved better. I could feel my throat closing up and I just stared straight ahead. I didn’t want to deal with this. Not with him and not with the other person either. Can’t you just let me be?
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