2012: The Best Year of My Life

Alana —  January 3, 2013 — 10 Comments

It’s the New Year and a lot of people will be taking the next few weeks to set their New Year’s resolutions. I used to think this was stupid, because people (myself included) start out the year with high hopes and dreams of the weight we are going to lose, the debt we’ll pay off, the great new job we’ll get, then… by Feb 1st, it all comes to a halt and we go back to our normal way of life because, let’s face it, it’s just easier that way.

In 2012, I tried something new. In lieu of setting specific goals, I set a theme for my entire year. 2012 became the year of Facing My Fears. I really didn’t know what to expect, except that if I stayed true to my theme, there may be some moments in the course of the following 12 months where I may poop my pants from the rush of adrenaline.

2012 was the best year of my life. And here’s why: 

I gained incredible amounts of confidence and became a courageous woman.

Through facing my fears I did things I could only have dreamed doing before. I…

…Approached a person I felt at odds with, invited her to lunch, and spoke honestly about the tension I felt in our relationship. We had great conversation and things have generally been smooth sailing since then. I didn’t ask her this directly, but I’m guessing as a result of our conversation two things happened: 1). She respected me more because I respected myself enough to initiate this difficult conversation, and 2). She respected me more because I respected her enough to have a conversation about it.

…Spoke to senior college students about personality types and the importance of truly understanding your own strengths before looking for a job – that way you can find the best fit for you, but also be equipped to share about the strengths you can bring to a potential employer. This opportunity presented itself through a casual conversation with a previous professor of mine. When I told her what I had been up to since college, (starting this blog and now career and life coaching others), it piqued her interest. She made a passing comment about how I should come speak to her students. The old Alana would have gotten excited about this, but would have been too fearful to pursue it further – and the opportunity would have been lost. The new, I’m-going-to-face-my-fears Alana immediately went home, followed up with the professor via e-mail and continued the conversation that eventually led to a public speaking engagement on Nov 29, 2012! Awesome. I was very nervous leading up to the presentation, but 5 minutes in, I was engaged, my audience was engaged and I was on cloud nine. What a rush! I plan to continue to be aware of and to pursue public speaking opportunities.

… Took on a project where I knew much about some areas of the project and very little about other areas. Fear of the unknown in the areas I did not know as much almost kept me from taking on the project altogether. But, I did it anyway! There were people on my team who I found difficult to work with, and through this, I discovered my voice. I learned how to speak directly, clearly, and confidently to make sure my thoughts were shared effectively. This was a huge hurdle for me, because I want people to like me. In the past, I have backed down to keep the peace. I gained more confidence in my abilities and in my own voice through this experience.

…And now to the biggie – which this one is more of an intangible – I started the journey toward loving myself. This was scary! Over the past few months, I have realized how much I do to numb the pain – both of my past and the frustrations I experience in my daily life. I have essentially become aloof to people and experiences because it is too painful and too much work to feel everything that comes along with these relationships.

Which leads me to my theme for 2013. I’m still working out what my focus will be, but these are the key words that are coming to mind:

Screen Shot 2013-01-02 at 8.39.58 PM

I’ll update you once I land on the specific theme.

How about you?
Do you have a theme for 2013? I’d love to hear what it is and why you chose it! Please share in the comment section.

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Alana

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Alana Mokma is a storyteller, people connector, and a dancing fool who is passionate about engaging with the people in her life. She embraces vulnerability and possesses mad powers of intuition and observation. Never satisfied with easy answers, she likes to dig deep. Alana resides with her husband Josh in Grand Rapids, MI.
  • Terri

    So happy to see you back in action. I missed your spunk. If you thought 2012 was a great year, I cannot wait to see what 2013 brings you, its going to be fabulous. Congratulations on this beautiful new home and voice!

    • http://alanamokma.wordpress.com/ Alana Mokma

      Thank you, Terri! I’m very excited to get back into writing and sharing again. I didn’t realize how therapeutic it was until I took the break this past month. I’m looking forward to 2013 too! And, I just gotta say this again – the “weekly question” feature that you are starting on your blog tomorrow is such a cool idea. I can’t wait to see the first question!

  • Moore Jlp

    Yeah!!! The new blog is up:) can’t wait to continue following along. I’m so proud of you for facing your fears in 2012 and all the accomplishments you’ve made. You’re beautiful and incredible. I’m so thankful for your friendship and the re-connection we have had over the miles. I don’t like to make resolutions, rather I like to make monthly goals and sometimes yearly too. I’ll be posting my monthly goals soon on our blog (once our laptop is fixed). But I also wanted to think of a theme that these goals would revolve around. Maybe I should make a wordle like you. The fact that BE-PRESENT ended up as the biggest font makes it seem like a top contender:) So far my theme ideas are Joy, Service, Frugal-living, and Sacrifice. I’ll send you my wordless when. I do it:) looking forward to 2013!

    • http://alanamokma.wordpress.com/ Alana Mokma

      Jenean, I’m looking forward to seeing what your monthly goals and theme will be! Yes, being present is something very much on my radar right now. A girlfriend of mine sent me a PDF with a way to determine a one-word theme for the year. I plan to go through the worksheet and hope that will help me narrow it down. I like your frugal-living idea… I’m actually quite intrigued by that one. :)

  • Halsey

    Awesome, Alana! Great site! Did you finish telling the story about debt? I read the Nov., I want to read the end!

    • http://alanamokma.wordpress.com/ Alana Mokma

      Thanks Halsey! The end of the debt story will come out in the next two weeks or so. :)

      • http://profiles.google.com/skyshyne Skye Bickett

        Halsey asked what was on my mind. I hate cliffhangers, by the way, so I’m ready to read more. :-) I’m hoping to pay of most of mine and Ivan’s debt this year (not including the student loans…those have a longer time frame).

        • http://alanamokma.wordpress.com/ Alana Mokma

          haha. More people were waiting for this than I realized! I will have to post a follow-up asap.

          That would be sweet if you and Ivan can pay off most of your debt this year! It feels amazing. We just paid off our car last month!

  • http://profiles.google.com/skyshyne Skye Bickett

    I can’t wait to read more of your story this year. You are an amazing woman and I’m so glad that we were introduced. You rock, ma’am.
    I heard an interesting way of phrasing goals for the year and think I’ll use it some: intentions. There are some things that I’d like to do for fun or that I find interesting and others that I need to have done for the year. I’ve always lumped everything into goals, but get disappointed when it’s not all done. I’ve found, though, that some need to be goals and others intentions and will categorize as such moving forward. Just thought that was interesting and wanted to share. I love your idea of a theme for the year, though. It’s over-arching and has such a better feel to it!

    • http://alanamokma.wordpress.com/ Alana Mokma

      A girlfriend of mine posted something similar on facebook about the “intentions”. This is something I’d like to investigate further because I think of intentions as being negative – like you WANT to do something, but don’t really do it. However, since a few different people have mentioned this now, I am intrigued and would like to hear more.

      Yes, the theme really worked for me personally. Especially because there were a few opportunities that came up this year where at first I thought, “NO WAY, JOSE!” but immediately remembered my theme and changed my perspective to “Wow, this could be a great opportunity to face this fear”. It helped me to know that there was not a specific list of things I needed to accomplish. That being said, I do work really well from lists – to know I can cross things off as they are accomplished is rewarding.

      Skye, what is one thing you would put in your goal category and what is one thing you would put in your intention category? I am curious in case I decide to try this too. :)